When 'Mum Brain' Stops Being Funny

I had the week from hell. Haven't we all at some point? Perhaps, but this week was especially trying.

It started with accidentally falling asleep instead of utilising nap time to do the dishes. It progressed to biting into a mouldy piece of bread without even realising it was harbouring its own ecosystem, pulling into a carpark head on and still mounting the curb and ended with every mothers nightmare. Seeing my boy grab a tiny piece of rubbish, telling myself to retrieve it and forgetting within seconds, resulting in a scary throat fishing expedition.

I've heard of mum brain. I heard the jokes told at the expense of pregnant women who seemingly stop being able to remember their keys, or where they put their purse. I've laughed about my own forgetfulness through my sleep deprivation since welcoming my little one and assumed it came with the territory. But lately, it's not just a funny anecdote. It feels like I'm genuinely struggling to function - and thats far scarier to admit.

Nobody told me about the pressure to keep functioning when someone depends on you. I know mums sacrifice. People always said how I would give up things now that I am a mum - such as travel, sport and hobbies - but no one ever told me how easy it is to go without basic needs. The warnings about how easy it is to dismiss your own needs and wellbeing when your day revolves around feeding, comforting, changing and keeping a tiny human safe, never came. So if you find yourself struggling now, it isn't a character flaw, and if you aren't struggling don't wait until breaking point before you ask for help.

Parenthood isn't a race to the bottom. It's okay to open up and tell someone when things aren't going well. We shouldn't be encouraged to hide the truth of how difficult it can get. So instead, I want to encourage you to seek practical support when things stop feeling right. Sometimes that means asking someone to hold the baby while we shower, bringing over dinner, doing the dishes or just sitting with us while we catch our breath. And sometimes, looking after ourselves means asking for professional help.

If the brain fog, forgetfulness or exhaustion starts to feel persistent, is escalating or impacting everyday life, it's worth talking to your healthcare professional. We don't have to dismiss everything as 'mum brain' just because we've had a baby. Motherhood asks so much of us, but we are people outside of being mums and deserve the care, patience and support just as much as the little people who depend on us.

So if you've been having a hard time lately, consider this your reminder that you don't have to do it all alone. How are you really going? And what would make things a little easier for you right now?